Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Avoidance

I have truly been trying to avoid the countdown which started as good fun and has become a countdown to an anxiety attack.

Here's something I now know about myself: I feed off of whatever emotions I decide to create for myself and this is also heavily related to the music I decide to surround myself with. For example: the other day an innocent journal entry unfurled into a tear-filled declaration of fear and anxiety about my future. It didn't help that I was listening to a playlist called "the end" which I listened to when college was over. Oh gosh.

Anyway, in an attempt to trick myself into being happy, I'm trying to remind myself why I'm making this move (I need to be independent/ grow up, I need a new adventure in life, I want to challenge myself, I want to see if I could be a good teacher, I want to make international/ expat friends, I need to arrange my health and lifestyle, etc.) I know I'll miss Antoinette's bachelorette and bridal showers and that's sad. There are things I'm missing out on. But I have to remind myself... it's just a year. It's just a year. And maybe I'll love it so much it will become 2 years. Who knows? But for now, it's just a year.

So lately, Margaret (my sister) is in town for a few weeks before she goes back to Paris. She's super into the show "Mr. Selfridge," which is great except Jeremy Piven's really stale acting. Me and my mom and Margaret have been watching that, ordering pizza in the day, running errands, and laughing really hard. (See my twitter account for my dad's insane quotes lately). We've also been shopping, going to church activities, having dinner with our adorable neighbors, and just generally hanging out. Oh and my mom plays solitaire. A LOT.

In my free time I've been ringing up my credit card bill at an alarming rate and stressing about not speaking Korean. Also I've been obsessing over the sky here and my sister's dog.


This is blurry because my mom slapped my phone out of my hands.
Ignore the dirty windshield. What a sky!
Ah I love Dallas. I mean I hate it... but I love it so much.
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