Korean Beauty

You know I tried to deny the fact that I love blogging but I just can't help it. It combines all the loves of my life into one place.

I survived my year in Korea with hardly any blogging, made myself a boyfriend, moved home, and am currently in my last stretch of my visit to Seoul.

Speaking of Seoul, since coming here my love, affinity, and deep respect for Korean skin care has returned. I can't believe the number of articles I've read in magazines that touch on the forward thinking and risk taking nature of Korean cosmetics and skincare without ever giving credit to the labels here that supply the ideas. I always read about a western equivalent and I'm gonna be honest with you; they don't match up!

Korean skin is famous for a reason. Women here truly view it as a ritual to be treated with real respect. Massages, face stones, masks, ampoules, essences, mists, lotions, moisturizers... The list goes on and on. They have morning and nighttime routines and it's not just the women-- men contribute just as much effort. I have purchased so many goodies I can't wait to review and I've thought of so many make-up looks I want to try.

To keep up to date on my life make sure to check out my snapchat (juliakinsley) and my Instagram (Juliakingsley)


My computer broke while here so this update is being done through my phone. But I'll be up and running again soon! I'll list the product sources when I have a normal format.

Happy weekend everyone!

Wow. Woops.

In all honesty I kind of forgot this blog existed and that I'm supposed to be diligently updating it every day if not every week. I'm sorry, it's a shame I haven't been as good because my life has been full of many dramatic ups and downs. I've gotten used to, fallen in love with, fallen out of love with, and finally accepted my work here in Korea. It is both rewarding and difficult. I love almost all my students, I love interacting with them, I love an interest in learning. But, I hate some in-office aspects of life, some of the courses, and my schedule can be really hard at times.
While here I've also made some friends, mostly because of the cafe I frequent, but also through other friends and such. Of course two friends from university days live in Korea so it's great getting to see them from time to time. I haven't seen them much recently though because I got a boyfriend.
For most people this is semi-big news (as big of news as men can be which, let's be real, there are more important things in life) because I went to an all girls school and I'm suuuuuupes awkward around guys. I want nothing more than to post photos of me and him together and tell everyone all the details I can about him and what we do together.
Unfortunately I can't do any of this for a little bit of time. But I promise by summer. Or by mid-summer, I will be able to post photos and I will clarify why all the secrecy had to happen etc. etc.
I can tell you he is younger than me and he loves me very dearly.

Since we have open classes coming up here at my hagwon, I have to go to bed because I'm burned out and super tired and stressed. But I will upload photos of my life so far, maybe photos that sum up the time I've missed b/c of lack of blogging? And maybe I'll start doing this thing again :) If the demand is there.

Yes, I'm Alive

I feel like I told SOOOO many people I would keep my blog updated and now I feel like I'm letting them down. SO I've been meaning to write a blog post but in all honesty I'm so exhausted all the time. This is a lot to adjust to so I hope you will be patient with me.

aside from crazy eyes this pretty much sums up my relationship with this kid. I love him!

CCTV all day every day

Miss that cut out (its gone now)

A cafe I used to frequent when I was staying in that area.

Seoul Forest.

Birthday party

Birthday parties 

Found and finally had the confidence to go inside the taco bell. Worth it. 

Seoul Forest again (I love it). 

In front of Lotte Hotel near City Hall. I love how the trees are still SO orange! 

When I stumbled on the lantern festival.

This kid. 

Seoul Forest. 

Just a little Texas representation. 

The lantern festival part II. 

Also this past weekend I went clubbing in Gangnam and it was so awesome. Also this weekend Rebekah visited and we had such a good time. We went to Seoul Forest and hung out in cafe's and went to Hongdae it was great. Other things that happened:

- My dress caught on fire (it is literally just like in the movies)

- The Mcdonalds delivery man and I had a really intense moment that Rebekah creeped on hard core in the background 

- I became obsessed with Taeyang from Big Bang and I don't know how but now that's a thing and I kind of hate myself for it b/c white people that get SUPER into Korea/ Japan/ any Asian country can be super annoying and weird so yeah. But look where we are that's the way she goes.

- My diet right now mostly consists of rice and kimchi and that really isn't a lie or an exaggeration like it's what I had for lunch and dinner.

- I've had so much kimchi that now I can tell what's good and what's not good isn't that weird (probably not weird to Koreans but I used to never taste a difference)

- Mosquitos here actually don't die ever and they are still all inside the building and there are some in my apartment and I really hate it like they NEED to die

- They don't really heat water in bathrooms here so when you wash your hands in winter it really blows

- I don't know what I'll be doing or where I'll be for Christmas and that's so weird.

- I got a Korean phone finally (and the adorable lil' guy at the phone place gave me a free phone case insisting that this was NOT normal policy but it was his gift to me and now I have to pass by every day and it's only a lil awk) （//･_･//)

- I danced w/ a cutie at da club

First Week in Seoul...

And I can't share any pictures with you yet because my apartment doesn't have wifi right now and I need to buy a wireless router! Go to my instagram page if you want to see some immediately.

The 48 hours before I left for Seoul and the 48 hours after I arrived in Seoul were some of the hardest days of my life and that is no lie I don't want to tiptoe around it and try to help myself forget it. It was so hard. I began to seriously question my sanity slash my decision to come here. I kept thinking about saying goodbye to family, how long a year was, and realizing I knew hardly anything about the city or the language. I was seriously on edge. SO MANY tears were shed those days. And then arriving, it was so overwhelming and I was so tired (emotionally and physically) from the trip that I just couldn't deal. The city felt dirty and people stare at me so much and the neighborhood was old. The first place I stayed (this is my first night in my new apartment) was right off of the river and while so so lovely a location, was older and had so many mosquitos. So the week I slept there, I truly slept horribly. Also in the first 48 hours I was here (I keep saying the first 48 in my head like the TV show does it) I got lost and walked the entire day and cried alone in the street twice, AND almost got locked out of my apartment for an entire night. Also, woke up to a cockroach crawling on the wall. Lezbereal it was really hard.

So to break it up easily, I'll quickly run through good thing bad thing and go to bed to prep for my first real day of work aka I'm going to freak out tomorrow morning.

Good:

- I have grown to really quickly LOVE my neighborhood. I get to live right by this gorgeous river with trees on either side and my new place is a 3 minute walk to a really lively and fun shopping area.

- I love my ward (local church) and actually know one of the missionaries in it from home! Not everyone speaks English but everyone tries and I need to learn Korean asap.

- I'm slowly exploring Korean restaurants and venturing into eating alone 

- I've gotten to meet up with friends and make some new ones from work

- The city has really gorgeous mountains and scenery

- I have so many places to walk and explore

- Cafes here = amazing 

Bad:

- Kids bring up my weight almost every day. "Teacher why are you fat?" "Do you like to eat food?" "Why is your stomach so big?" things like this. That has been really difficult mentally and makes me really anxious every day.

- Some drama has already gone down between co-workers and inadvertently myself. So Monday will be awkward.

- Also some co-workers are just straight up jerks? So that's a bummer and really just like ugh why can't people not be self-righteous/ douchey 

- I teach some really difficult children

- Everyone from the school who I'm friends with is leaving soon. 

- My feet are SO blistered and sore 

- Homesick

- No chipotle

Well I'm going to bed. But irl I'm totally not eating enough food. I walk way too much and eat way too little. You might wonder why this matters, if I'm overweight this will help, but when I say I'm not eating enough I mean 4 real it's bad. I need to work on having real breakfast and dinner. Not nothing and ramen. Also, I really really need cream of wheat and oatmeal, what was I thinking.

Miss you all, comment if you have questions. Photos soon! So many good ones. 

The Countdown Begins... Homesickness Sets In Prematurely

So I'm listening to overly bubbly music at night lately. Why? Because if I listen to the few downloads I've done recently (Runaway by Kanye West, Run from Me by Timber Timbre, etc.) I really begin to spiral into a bad place. Seriously people underestimate how much music can effect your mood. It's insane. Do not give into the sadness by listening to sad music! It is a danger zone! 

The past few days have been really hard as I've been thinking about next week. Really what gets me really sad is when I imagine saying goodbye at the airport. The future I have is very unsure, I don't know what the school and my co-workers and boss will be like. I don't know how I'll find the bus, if I'll get off at the right stop, how I'll communicate with everyone, etc. I'm leaving right before holidays and that makes it extra emotional. I'm also leaving right after our dog died so I've been kind of anxious and sad. My arm is also giving me a lot of grief and I have to figure out what's wrong with it before I go, so I'm nervous and hope that my scans come back normal and hopefully this injury will go away soon. 

So on occasion I look up articles on homesickness. This has been a topic I've been interested in for a long time, actually, because I've noticed there are so many reprieves and various levels of homesickness while away from home. 

STAGES

1. So the first thing that can loosen that kind of tight feeling that develops in your chest and heart is finding anything that reminds you of something from your home country. This could be a mcdonalds, a cafe with a turkey sandwich, finding peanut butter in the grocery store, finding a bookstore with books in your native language, etc. I always find that helps at first. It's like, "ok, ok, I'm not so far away that these things aren't accessible. I'll be ok."

2. Finding people that speak your language. There would be times in Paris or Vienna when I would hear someone pass by with an American accent and I would do a double take and actually chase after them to talk to them because I'd be so lonely for Americans. That would be an even better relief than a burger.

3. Making friends and making foods from home. Getting together with a group of new friends and doing things like making brownies and watching tv shows from home really starts to make you feel good. If you don't look out the window it's almost like you're back home, so for a while you can laugh freely and feel good.

4. Being back in the United States, but not your home state. This is pretty satisfying because you can finally talk to baristas and people in stores without any language barriers! It feels so good. But it's not home so you don't feel totally whole.

5. Being back in your state or city but not being in your neighborhood. This is like 98% of homesickness is gone. It's like an almost satisfied feeling because you know the restaurants in the area, you see all the places you used to hang out and stuff and it's like, "oh yeah, I got this."

6. The end of homesickness? Is there one? IMHO the closest I can get is lying in between my parents on their bed. Or just being in my childhood home. 

There are problems with this though. What happens when you've traveled for so long that being home feels good, but you miss where you came from? What happens when you've spent your life traveling and you can't really identify a "home" anymore because so many places are home to you? What happens when your parents move from your childhood home or out of state? What happens if you get married and settle in a foreign place? Basically life is really hard. I feel like I will live with some vague feeling of homesickness my whole life and that's the truth. Because I'm always missing some place all the time. Today I miss Paris. And yesterday I missed Norway. And the day before that I missed Austin. And before that, Brooklyn. 

I was reading this article and it really struck a chord with me. Because lots of people associate homesickness with kids moving out of home for college, but I think lots of adults suffer with it. I don't think it makes you weak. I just think I love my family a lot, I know I'll miss them a lot. I also have kind intense anxiety at times and worry someone will get sick or die while I'm away. And I really just don't know if I could handle that. The longer you stay somewhere the harder it is to leave. So this will be a really hard move. Here are some good comments from the article. What's your best remedy for homesickness? 

Horcrux

So one of the best things about tumblr (and there are a lot of great and a lot of terrible things) are the excellent quotes I come upon an any given day. Sometimes I have to check the source because you never know, but here is one I'm just really in love with and it describes a lot of the feelings I have with travel and change.

You get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place. Like you’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you’ll never be this way ever again.”

—	Azar Nafisi

This is something I think about a lot and I've written several journal entries about it.

So, you may know I went to Norway in January. I visited a secluded island in the arctic circle called Andenes. It was a beautiful island full of fjords and low mountains, and home to some truly wonderful people. My days there kind of blended together because for a while I didn't even see the sun, there were only a few hours of hazy light, like a constant sunrise and sunset on opposite sides of the sky, and then a blanket of darkness, stars, and sometimes the aurora borealis would wander across the sky. It was a truly beautiful place and a very magical feeling settles over Norway in the winter.

When I had to leave I was on the bus in the very early morning. As we made the two hour long trek to the local airport, I looked over the island, watched the sun slowly rise and cast this amazing gold glow over the frozen water below which was nestled between two small mountains covered in dark green trees. I remember closing my eyes and feeling so conflicted because in my heart I was excited to go to Paris and stay with my sister for several weeks, to be among the exciting bustle of the city, to make friends and lounge for hours in cafes. I was very excited to do this. But a part of me was attached to the land I was leaving.

I am very lucky, very blessed and very lucky, to have traveled throughout so much of the world over and over again, to make friends, get to know the locals, and visit secluded areas people only dream of visiting. I do not take my upbringing for granted. It has, however, created this kind of horcrux like splitting of my soul. A part of me will always miss and love Dallas, crave the high school comfort and friendship I have here. I will always want to be, simultaneously, in Hawaii at the beach, in Paris with friends, in Vienna on an autumn day, in Munster as a 17 year old riding bikes with a new friend, in London in 1997 buying all the Spice Girls' paraphernalia I could find, and on and on. There are an infinite number of little moments and times I miss being alive for various cozy, safe feelings or new and growing feelings.

I have lived at home for two years now. This was not planned at all, in fact. I thought I would move out after half a year. But as happens to so many people, my degree took longer to finish than I had anticipated. And the decision for work was not as easy as I thought it would be. So I settled into a familiar, childish routine by living at home, driving around and running errands for my mom, and socializing with friends when I could. Looking back on it now, as I prepare for a new adventure, there is a certain taste to this time at home. Not quite as comfortable and safe feeling as being a student and studying and living here, but still secure. I've allowed my mind and my heart to be blank and recover from several years of pretty traumatic social adventures throughout college.

I know that I am on the verge of becoming a new me, which has happened many times before and will of course happen again. I don't know how Seoul will change me or what memories I will forge. But I know I'll kick myself for rushing out of home and not lapping up every moment I can with my family.

So this is my homework. Rather than spend all my time buying Korean food and analyzing Korean culture, I will hold off until I arrive. For now, I will enjoy the last month or so of who I am at this moment, I will try to make all decisions with a firm and wonderful purpose. I will connect with people and bake and laugh until I cry so I can really look back on this time fondly.

So the Big News...

I'M MOVING TO SEOUL, KOREA.

So it's offish guys, I signed a contract and took passport pictures and everything. Look at the double chin the lady at wolf camera gave me and look at my murderous eyes:

SO yeah, that happened. I'm sure after this whole thing in a year I'll look back and look completely different. I just have a feeling I'll be changing a lot when I'm there. 

Even though I'm not leaving for 52 days or something like that (honestly who's counting) I'm trying to document all the pre-trip stuff as well because I'm so nervous// excited and I know I'll want to look back and remember what I was thinking and expecting and things like that.

First things first (I'm the realest). First things first, I've signed to work in an area called Sungbuk-gu in Seoul. I won't put the name of the school I'm working for b/c I don't want to get in trouble or say something I don't mean one angered day, but hopefully they will take care of me! I will live next to a women's university in the Northeastern-ish part of Seoul. I had no idea how large Seoul was, I assumed it was like Paris where you could get from one important area to another one in about 30 minutes or so but NOPE. The areas I want to visit, the parks I've looked up online, and all the other cool areas of Seoul I want to explore are mostly one hour away by metro. Uhh, homie say what? 

Here are the things I'm worried about at the moment: 

#1 I don't speak this language at all except for a couple of phrases I learned from k-dramas. So I'm worried about the stress of trying to find basic groceries and also wary of the inability to have small talk with people. Language miscommunications just suck and I always feel like an idiot. 

#2 I really don't like seafood and from what I've read it's everywhere and even in soups, you'll just find little shrimps floating (?!) Not sure if this information is accurate but also I might have a shellfish allergy so I'm a lil' afraid
#3 I'm worried about people staring at me already (b/c of my eyes, hair and skin for one) but I feel like my weight and height will just draw negative attention/ comments from people. We will see if this is justified in about two months.
#4 Missing my family. I've lived at home for a little while now and am used to the creature comforts in this area, instant access to best friends, and the instant emotional access of my parents. Losing all of that will be hard.

Other than that, I'm pretty excited about a lot of things. I've been trying to listen to a lot of Korean songs and have watched a lot of Korean shows in an attempt to understand the culture better. There are bloggers like eat your kimchi who live in Seoul who I want to meet. There are also boarders from the high school I used to attend who are from Korea and are currently living in Seoul. I'm excited to reunite with them and go singing and shopping and eating and everything. I'm also really excited to teach cute little children. I know there will be devilish ones but I'm holding out for the cute ones I want to hold until the end of time.

Well that's about the end of this rant. I hope everyone is enjoying their night and get excited for more blogging guys. Who knows, maybe I'll start vlogging. Ohhhhh. Ohhhhh. Oh wait, I'd need more memory on my computer to do that -.-

Here's a new k-pop video for your enjoyment. No idea what they are singing about and I don't necessarily like the video but they are a new band and I like this song.